Justin Sayfie aggregates tonight’s Capitol Press Corp Skits

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The 58th Sometimes Annual Capitol Press Corps Skits are tonight. It’s the night when the media lampoons the Legislature and the governor, and the governor and Legislature may take a few shots back. It’s sometimes at least mildly funny, and there are adult beverages. More importantly, it pays for a scholarship fund for future journalists to make sure there continue to be people to put on the skits.

As a member (really!) of the Capitol Press Corps, I’ve offered in the past scripts for skits, one of which actually made its way onto stage.

Here is a script of how I would open tonight’s event.  Mind you, I’m no Aaron Sorkin, but here goes:

The skit is titled “Justin Sayfie does the Press Skits”:

Whoever opens up the show comes out on to stage.  Someone dressed up in a Sayfie Review shirt comes on stage at about the same time with a Blackberry and camera in hand.

Emcee: Good evening, welcome to the 2013 Press Skits.  My name is…

Sayfie character: Good evening, welcome to the 2013 Press Skits. My name is…

Emcee looking at Sayfie character: Excuse me, can I help you?

Sayfie character: No thanks, I am fine.

Emcee: Right, and I am trying to get the press skits started here.

Sayfie character: Sure, sure.  See, I am aggregating the press skits.  It’s where I take all of the material from Press Skits, then I say it at my own Press Skits and, voila, I have aggregated the press skits.

Emcee: Wait a second.  Let me get this straight … you’re gonna follow me around all night, take everything said on this stage and then just use it as your own Press Skits?

Sayfie character: Right, that’s called aggregation!

Emcee: Sounds like stealing to me.

Sayfie character: One man’s stealing is another man’s aggregation.

Emcee: But you don’t have any of your own material.  You’re going to use all of our material.  That’s stealing.

Sayfie character: Tomato, tomato.

Emcee: Get the hell out of here. Press Skits is for real reporters!

Peter Schorsch is the President of Extensive Enterprises and is the publisher of some of Florida’s most influential new media websites, including SaintPetersBlog.com, FloridaPolitics.com, ContextFlorida.com, and Sunburn, the morning read of what’s hot in Florida politics. SaintPetersBlog has for three years running been ranked by the Washington Post as the best state-based blog in Florida. In addition to his publishing efforts, Peter is a political consultant to several of the state’s largest governmental affairs and public relations firms. Peter lives in St. Petersburg with his wife, Michelle, and their daughter, Ella.